Sounding gay

Water-based lubricant is recommended, as oil-based or silicone-based lubricants can cause irritation.

Cleanliness: Always clean the area and the equipment thoroughly before and after each use. Sterility is essential to prevent infection.

Consent: Engage in urethral sounding only with the explicit, informed consent of all parties involved.

When to Seek Medical Attention

If you experience pain, bleeding, or difficulty urinating after engaging in urethral sounding, seek medical attention immediately.

Queer people who are judged for how they sound may speak less in group settings, worry excessively about first impressions, or assume rejection before it happens. We’ll go slow and listen to your body’s cues.

You should use medical-grade sounds made specifically for urethral play. It’s important to understand these risks before engaging in urethral sounding.

Infection: The urethra is a part of the body that can easily become infected.

As a survivor of sexual abuse myself, I want to keep this space safe for you to discuss anything and everything with as much detail as you’re willing. If anything, it reflects authenticity—one of the most attractive traits in both dating and long-term relationships.

Self-assurance comes from embracing one’s natural voice instead of trying to mold it into someone else’s expectation.

My coaching focuses on safety and comfort, ensuring you use the right tools and techniques to avoid injury or discomfort. If you're in the San Diego area or can travel, I provide in-person sessions for direct, real-time guidance. And as the community continues challenging outdated stereotypes, everyone benefits from a dating culture that makes room for the full range of queer expression.

Your voice isn’t a flaw or a giveaway.

We will go as far as you and I are both comfortable. This practice is often used by individuals who enjoy the sensations it provides, but it can also be used for other purposes, such as diagnosing and treating urethral strictures.

Urethral strictures are narrow areas within the urethra that can cause difficulty urinating or other urinary symptoms.

Urethral sounding doesn’t have to be intimidating—it’s an opportunity to explore your body and your desires at a deeper level.

Coaching Options: Hands-On or Virtual Training

I offer both hands-on instruction and virtual training to guide you through urethral sounding in a way that works best for you.

Social media plays a major role: diverse voices are heard and normalized across TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram, allowing queer people to see the full spectrum of what “sounding gay” or “sounding lesbian” truly looks like in real life.

More queer people are also becoming conscious of their own internalized biases—questioning why certain voices are seen as more attractive, respectable, or acceptable.

Over time, this self-monitoring can turn into constant internal pressure—questioning whether their voice gives them away, whether they’re being judged, or whether they’re perceived as less credible or less attractive.

It becomes an emotional tax that many carry without anyone noticing.

How Voice Influences Attraction and Dating

In queer dating, vocal stereotypes can create a quiet hierarchy of desirability.

People are drawn to it for different reasons:

Sensory stimulation – The internal sensations are distinct and can heighten arousal. Doctors may use a technique similar to sounding, called urethral dilation, to stretch the narrow area and improve urine flow.
Why Do Some People Enjoy Urethral Sounding?
The urethra is a sensitive area of the body, and for some, the sensations provided by urethral sounding can be pleasurable.

Some find it intensely pleasurable, while others experience discomfort. A gay man with a lighter voice might worry about being viewed as less serious, while a lesbian with a deeper voice may fear being stereotyped or seen as intimidating.
Even compliments can feel complicated—such as when someone says a gay man “doesn’t sound gay” or tells a lesbian she “sounds strong” in a way that feels coded.

This trauma can lead to scarring, which can lead to further complications with urination.
Nerve Damage: The nerves in the urethra can be easily damaged during the insertion of an object. A Black lesbian with a deeper, more authoritative tone may be labeled too aggressive or too masculine.
These stereotypes intersect, making voice inseparable from cultural perception, community expectations, and personal safety.
Many Black lesbians and gay men talk about code-switching their voice depending on the environment—not just because of sexuality, but because of how race and queerness collide.

Even following the above tips, complications can still arise, so it’s essential to listen to your body and seek medical attention if necessary.
Final Thoughts
Urethral sounding is a practice that may not be widely known but is still enjoyed by some individuals. To reduce the risk of infection, it’s essential to use sterile equipment and clean the area thoroughly before and after each use.
Bleeding: The urethra is a sensitive area that can easily bleed.
Medical-grade metal sounds or self-lubricated silicone catheters are good options.